While in my teens: Darla.

That would be my car.

Meaning: Dear, loved one.
Importance: LITTLE RASCALS!

Such a fantastic movie.
Anyways this is Darla and me.

I think we look great together.

Other than the fact that I'm twice her size.

She's the Darla to my Alfalfa.

My honk to my horn.

My brake to my gas.

My song to my radio.

Those get old super fast. FYI.

She has this distinct odor. No. It's not gas, B.O. or Pina Colada. It's.... crayons. Yes, those things you use to color with, they get stuck under your finger nail, and the things that Russel Anderson used to shove up his nose in the first grade.

That would be the smell of my dear car.

Every time somebody that hasn't experienced my car hops in this is what happens.

Their eyes look around the little space available.

Take a few sniffs.

Have an awkward pause.

Then.

"Does it smell like crayons?"

I glare at them.

"Yes, it does. But I love her, and don't complain."

I've had people get sick because of the smell. And I've had some people absolutely love it. Weirdos...

She takes diesel.

And sounds like a truck.

So I just say that she takes steroids that make her sound manly.

Also. Her horn is super super low. Like a semi-truck in the distance coming through the canyon low.

Practically, she's a man named Darla.

Kind of like a boy lady bug. But less awkward.

Do you ever feel bad for boy lady bugs?!

I sure do. A Bug's Life. One of my all time favorites! The lady bug is a boy! And boy is he a pain in the rear end. But if I was a girl with a boy's name I'd feel the same way. Oh wait...

Don't worry I love my name.

It's Sam by the way....

Fear Factor.

Finally it's back!

I used to always find myself giggling when I found a rerun that I could record. I mock those people who eat stupid things all for the love of money!

But now they have an ALL. NEW. SEASOOOON. I hope you said that super special. Because I know I did. I also moved my head back and forth, it was extremely cute.

I'm such a nice friend that I let Mr. Bryce come and watch it with me.

Aren't I the nicest girl in the world?! I know, I know. You can praise me if you reallllly want.

Actually It came with a price.

The price?