Sew me softly.

Sometimes. I wear my shirt inside out.
Sometimes people notice. Other times, people don't.

"Hey Sam. Your shirt is inside out.

I can see your seam."

I think to myself:

I wish you could.

A shirt can be made out of beautiful fabric. 

But until it is sewn together, it is nothing but cloth.

It only has potential. 

I wish we could wear ourselves inside out.

So you could see the things that keep me together.

Or that can tear me apart.

All we really are, are pieces of cloth strung together hanging onto the hanger

for dear life.

Hoping somebody accepts us.

Some of us sell ourselves short, making us cheaper. 

So we persuade people by our cheapness and how easy we are to get. 

Even though we are one of the most 

beautiful pieces of clothing.

Even though the hands that made us, made us with care.

We just want to be bought. 

We just want to be worn. 

Felt love.

But the wearer doesn't really love you.

The wearer loves how cheap you were. How easily bought. 

No struggle to scavenge for money. 

The cloth we once were.

Full of color and brilliance. 

Is not appreciated. 

The time taken to sew each piece together is forgotten.

Sometimes. Never even noticed.  

If your wearer wore you inside out what would people see?

Better question is, what wouldn't they see?

They couldn't judge you because of your stretch marks or birth marks.

No longer are your scratched out names painted in ink shown.

The anger resulting in scars are no longer on display.

Just you. And your seams. 

The things that make you who you are.

Whether bad or good.

Whether uplifting or disappointing.

It is you. 

You can't cover yourself up by being the most elaborate shirt, if the shirt won't stay together.

 Customers may think you are beautiful in the beginning. 

But they soon realize what makes you, you.

Bad stitches. 

Luckily in both situations there is a chance.

A chance to be the most highly glorified shirt.

You can realize your worth. 

Go to a different store.

Be bought by people who care.

The fashionista. 

The model.

The designer.

Or you can make yourself better.

Go to a seamstress. 

Receive a good seam. 

Have beauty inside and out. 

We are all the same. 

Hanging on to the cold hanger. Waiting for a warm body to appreciate us.

But.

Somebody already does.

That little girl on the other side of the glass.

Window shopping.

She sees your beauty.

Wait for her.

In a few years she will be able to drive her scarlet bug to your store

and wear you the way you deserve to be worn.

She's there. 

You're just to busy making note of other's designs and patterns to notice her.

Start looking out the window. 

Realize that girl is waiting for you.

Saving up her money.

Wait for her.

Don't go on sale. 

Don't fool people.

She's worth it.

She wants to love you.

But she can't unless you are still there when she can drive.

Imagine the excitement you would feel.

Seeing her scarlet bug pull up in front of your window.

No longer waiting.

But it was worth the wait.

The hard work for the seams was worth it.

The simplicity of going on sale denied.

Patience.

And hard work.

That's all we need as a shirt with good seams.
Because good seams are worth it.

-The girl falling apart.

Ps.

If your name starts with B

Ends with rit

And another t.

Then you my dear. My twin. My harry potter fanatic. Need to drop that AP Bio.

XOXOXO

Kicking Butt and taking names.

Lately have done nothing.

Today I've done nothing.

The last hour I've done nothing.

And right now I'm doing...Nothing.

Unless you count blogging. But not that many people read this... So technically I'm doing nothing.

So. Obviously. I'm kicking butt and taking names at doing nothing.

Do you think you are doing less than me? Doubt it.

So while doing nothing, I did nothing.

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

I don't really have anything interesting to write about.

I guess I could write about the time where I almost slipped and broke my neck, while my "friends" were around the corner and had no idea. So afterwords I stood there awkwardly with people staring at me. Good thing I'm not embarrassed easily.

Or I could talk about how my math teacher has the exact same last name as me. And we are both from Scotland.

I could maybe even talk about how much I hate this dreaded math homework.

But instead. I'll write about. I'm not sure actually... Whatever rolls out of the tips of my fingers, I guess.

Sometimes. I sit and dream. I dream about being old, with curly grandma hair, and

wrinkles that are deeper than the Grand Canyon. And I'll have a cute little

husband that is more fragile than me. And my grandchildren will love

me, because I smother them in big juicy kisses with my ruby red

lipstick. And I'll give them cookies and different assorted

treats. And I'll love crocheting and I'll make a hat

for each one of my cats, and I'll name my cats

Lou, Jasper, Dale, Wallis, Oliver, and Bob.

Please note that all those cats were

boys. Because, boy cats are

so much greater than

girls. I will be a

great old lady.

Until one

day I

Die.

But none of that really matters right now.

Right

now in

my life, I

am growing

into a person,

and this person is

what I will be like for

the rest of my life. I will

always be this Samantha Jean

That I am creating right now, So

I have decided that I should make this

Sam great, and not think about being old.

But instead, think about tomorrow, and what

I'm going to do to make tomorrow amazing. And

my future amazing. Because so much depends on one

little action, and that little action could happen tomorrow.

But you won't know, until you make that decision. So I know

what I am going to do tomorrow. Well, not really, but I know that I

am not going to do anything that I'll regret. Which also includes not doing

something, or trying something, or talking to somebody. So every chance I

get at making something amazing, I will take it. And hopefully I won't screw it up.

Hopefully.

ps. I can't wait to be old.

See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya-

Tall girl.

100 things.

so I've decided to make a list of 100 things i want to do before i die...

1. make a basketball shot from the half-court line.

2. find a four leaf clover.

3. paint my garage door aqua.

4. read a whole college text book and actually like it.

5. make a collage out of candy wrappers.

6. help somebody that has just lost a love one.

7. sing, and not care about what other people think about my horrible singing.

8. go to the mall of america.

9. attend the Olympics.

10. be fluent in another language.

11. eat haggis from Scotland.

12. spend 24 hours blind.

13. see the northern lights.

14. color my hair purple.

15. jump on a tramp for two hours straight.

16. stay awake all night, one night at girls camp.

17. see a tornado in person.

18. register as an organ donor.

19. have a story published on MLIA.

20. go a year without sugar.

21. crowd surf at a concert.

22. own 20 pairs of toms.

23. pet a tiger.

24. adopt a child.

25. help someone cross the street.

26. read 1,000 books.

27. See 15 midnight showings in a year.

28. fall in love.

29. write a book.

30. see the all 7 great wonders of the world.

31. go to a broadway show.

32. kiss someone on new years, in new york city.

33. play hide-and-seek in IKEA.

34. go to chuck-a-rama, and not vomit afterwards.

35. learn how to ice skate.

36. be able to say "hello" in 50 different languages.

37. ride in a hot air balloon.

38. go and see the Van Gogh Museum in Holland.

39. climb up the statue of liberty.

40. be consistant in yoga.

41. grow orchids.

42. mush a dog sled.

43. become a teacher.

44. have someone buy me a star and name it after me.

45. be an extra in a film.

46. write a book designed for teenagers, and teenagers only.

47. get over my fear of needles (Balenephobia).

48. volunteer at a soup kitchen.

49. meet the current LDS prophet.

50. become and early riser.

51. take up crocheting.

52. learn how to actually jump on a pogo stick.

53. keep bees.

54. take a ride on the polar express.

55. wear a nerdy "napoleon dynamite" wolf and moon shirt to school.

56. achieve my ideal weight.

57. join a club centered around harry potter.

58. buy a ferbie.

59. volunteer at a disaster sight.

60. own a dog named Mr. Carillo.

61. compete in a poetry slam.

62. milk a goat.

63. ride a mechanical bull.

64. start a business.

65. learn how to do the vulcan salute (star trek) with my left hand.

66. stay in a igloo hotel.

67. have a throw down in a ghost town.

68. see a platypus.

69. have twins.

70. leave a 100% tip for someone who deserved it.

71. paint my right hand's fingernails perfectly.

72. doorbell ditch 10 houses in a line, with 10 friends, at the exact same time.

73. solve a Rubik cube.

74. start and participate in a food fight.

75. go on an unplanned road trip.

76. go to a drive in movie.

77. carve my name into a tree.

78. put dish soap in a fountain.

79. come up with my own food recipe, and have it actually taste good.

80. own an original piece of artwork.

81. design shoes.

82. find a long lost relative.

83. learn sign language.

84. find myself a life theme song.

85. break one of my own bones, and get an awesome cast.

86. go a whole week without popping and part of my body (fingers, back, neck, toes ect...).

87. buy a jeep.

88. spend a week alone.

89. go parasailing.

90. learn how to throw a boomerang.

91. steal a "for sale" sign, from someone that I love who is moving away.

92. learn how to french braid hair.

93. go to a mall and not buy anything at all.

94. own a duck.

95. see one of my old elementary school teachers and recognize them..

96. find my long lost friends from my springville elementary school.

97. watch a super scary movie all the way through (without hiding behind pillows, people, ect..).

98. stand under a waterfall.

99. cover my whole driveway in chalk.

100. be 100% satisfied with life.